You are blindfolded, the game is on the line. Everyone else sees what you are depending on instinct to find.
You get turned in circles just to make it a bit more interesting. Walking, stumbling blindly toward your target with your heart in your hand, seeking to make the connection.
Take your shot, affix your heart! Take off the blindfold and look with your natural sight. Did you hit the mark exactly, probably not. But even if your heart is ANYWHERE within the vicinity of your target, even on the edge of the edge, its ok. Right??? Did I win???
When I graduated High School, the song chosen for us to sing at our commencement was 'In My Life' by the Beatles. Though I liked the Beatles' music, that was not a song I really knew or even understood. I would have chosen something more like " Its So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday", from the movie 'Cooley High'. I was looking at the finality of my youth and the collection of memories and hijinks that seemed to be over, versus anticipating the next steps that would take me towards the promise of the future that lay before me.
But since I was more concerned with the graduation party schedules than protesting the choice of the graduation song, I conceded, learned the words, and obediently sang it at the appointed time.
Lately I find myself in a very nostalgic mood, thanks to Face Book reconnection's, deaths of iconic figures, holidays, and simply growing older.
I recently heard 'In My Life' on the radio and the light bulb went off!! OMG, I get it!!! Its about the connections! The people we encounter, the loves we make, keep, and even the ones we lose. Its about looking at the big picture and appreciating every part of it, good, bad, and ugly.
It got me thinking about love. In all the forms and flavors that I have experienced in my short, but long life.
Obviously, there are the loves that were easy to define; the love of family, friends, objects, places.
But the love that 'got me' was the short step that I never saw, the ones I always tripped and skinned my knees upon; the 'condition of the heart' loves. The crushes, infatuations, undying devotion, and gut-wrenching loves. The ones I lived for. The ones I died for.
I don't think it is ever right to tell a young person that they are in 'puppy love' or that 'young love is not real love', or that 'crushes don't count'.
I remember being told these things when I was in the midst of some life-altering and emotional chapter of my youth, and it confused me to no end.
I was FEELING and EXPERIENCING something powerful here, folks!!! Just because I was 10 should not make it any less REAL!!! And if what I was feeling was not the real thing, then God help me, how will I ever be able to withstand the intensity of love when it is 'REAL', when the puppy-love-lite version is kicking my tender, naive little butt!!!
From Elementary School, through High School, through my early adult years, and even now, I have learned that ALL loves, no matter how they started, how long they burned, or how they ended, were not only VERY REAL, but they were all VERY NECESSARY.
Every sigh, every hope, every embrace, every missed call and mistake, every kiss, and tear, was proof that I am ALIVE! I may not win, but dammit, I am in the game!!!
I became textures and colors that I didn't have before, as a result of each love. Some loves made my jagged edges smooth. Some rendered me with shards of pain and brittle memories that exist to this day. Reds of passion, cool lapis lazuli tinted times of calmness and content. Dazzling blue-white flashes of clarity, and even the purple-black, heavy velvet curtains of despair and self doubt. I became a more beautiful and intricate creation with each heart beat and heart break.
Now, as I watch my daughter grow, I know that I will have to be there for her for what is coming. She will break hearts, and have hers broken. She will dance around the house as if she is suspended weightless in air. She will hurt as if there is nothing bigger or more profound that the pain in her heart. However, I hope that I do and say the right things to let her know it is all worth it, and that she has the strength to keep going and not let any one love keep her from an entire life of love/loves/loving. I straddle the fence foolishly wishing I could spare her any hurt, and knowing that a life without love is a life less lived. So, I pray for her and myself, and little by little release her to life and the love lessons that will be.
Like me, all the loves of my life are real and relevant in all their forms and phases.
The past ones, the present ones, and the future ones. The beautiful ones, the foolish ones, the ones I planned, manipulated, and contrived, and the ones that came from left field, or out of nowhere and knocked me senseless.
In my life, I've loved them all...
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Ain't Nothing But the Holy Spirit!!!
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does it make a sound?
Ever since I was a child this question has always interested me.
Not because I couldn't figure it out; but because it seemed to be the most arrogant and shallow thing I had ever heard.
Why would we assume that nature, and everything else in the world, is only REAL if we can see it, hear it, categorize and classify it??? Who are we to assume that Yahweh requires us to validate natural occurrences for them to have 'realness'.
While I love the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, it always made sense to me that while important, it was never the LOVE the child had for the rabbit toy that made it real, it was the FAITH and REVELATION of the LOVE that did it. Same as with the 'Toy Story' movies. Can we really value something/someone without really thinking about it, kind of like being on emotional and mental 'auto-pilot'? I think so-its called 'taking for granted'. Does that love stop or stay on hold until we 'buy the vowel', as on a game show?
Miracles and blessings happen ALL the time, ALL around us. But do you SEE them? Do you RECOGNIZE them? DO you ACCEPT and BELIEVE in them? Or do you simply think that you had to 'be there' (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically) to validate them, or that they 'just happened', or worse, do you totally discount that miracles even exist?
We see, hear, and read about 'bad things' all the time and it is rare that we question THAT they occur. We ask 'why' or 'how' could these things happen, but do we struggle to recognize and determine them as 'negative/bad'??
No, reader, we can spot 'bad' a mile away.
But what about 'goodness'? Why so much think-tanking on the pure and simple, sheer, unadulterated goodness of something?
Yahweh graces us with many things. He gives us love. He sent His son, Yahshua, to deliver us from sin and grant us eternal salvation. He sent us the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to be with us. He sends us prophets and teachers and a myriad of witnesses to prove and testify to the very REAL love that He has for us.
This love is, and has been REAL for thousands of years, yet mankind continues to consistently and arrogantly put Goliath (yes, I said Goliath) efforts into justifying and rationalizing why redemption and salvation is either unatainable, unavailabe, mythical, or obsolete.
Have you ever had an experience where your efforts either went unrecognized and/or someone else received the credit for it? Even the most humble of persons will at least recognize this when it occurs.
While this situation brings forth several emotional responses, the important connection and revelation should be this-what were the questions you asked yourself when it happened?
I can pretty much figure out what your emotions said (WTF??!!), but what did your MIND say? Probably something like 'how is it that this was perceived in this way', 'why and I letting this bother me', 'what do I do about this'.
Did the lack of recognition totally obliterate your hard work? Did it erase the 'you' that you poured into the effort itself? No way, Jose!
Even if NO ONE sees, hears, or validates your efforts, YOU know and, yes, they are REAL and they do have value!
There are so many credos, mantras, ideologies, and explanations that surround us.
Beginning from infancy, we were given, by God, gateways to learning and evolution. The keys to these gateways are the ability to speak, listen, read, retain, reason. How you use these keys will determine the areas you unlock and the journey you take. However, none of this matters unless you CONNECT with, and RECOGNIZE the value of these keys and become ACCOUNTABLE for them not only in your own life, but in the lives of others, and overall, in the world around you.
I see nothing weak, pagan, or unsophisticated about recognizing God's work each and every time I encounter it. Where I once would say 'Isnt that weird', or 'What a conicindence', I now say 'That aint nothin' BUT the Holy Spirit', because I know it. In my heart, in my mind, and in the core of my being. I know it; I just do.
If you don't see God's love, recognize it, accept it and give credit where credit is due, does that mean it doesn't exist.
Silly rabbit; tricks are for kids...
Ever since I was a child this question has always interested me.
Not because I couldn't figure it out; but because it seemed to be the most arrogant and shallow thing I had ever heard.
Why would we assume that nature, and everything else in the world, is only REAL if we can see it, hear it, categorize and classify it??? Who are we to assume that Yahweh requires us to validate natural occurrences for them to have 'realness'.
While I love the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, it always made sense to me that while important, it was never the LOVE the child had for the rabbit toy that made it real, it was the FAITH and REVELATION of the LOVE that did it. Same as with the 'Toy Story' movies. Can we really value something/someone without really thinking about it, kind of like being on emotional and mental 'auto-pilot'? I think so-its called 'taking for granted'. Does that love stop or stay on hold until we 'buy the vowel', as on a game show?
Miracles and blessings happen ALL the time, ALL around us. But do you SEE them? Do you RECOGNIZE them? DO you ACCEPT and BELIEVE in them? Or do you simply think that you had to 'be there' (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically) to validate them, or that they 'just happened', or worse, do you totally discount that miracles even exist?
We see, hear, and read about 'bad things' all the time and it is rare that we question THAT they occur. We ask 'why' or 'how' could these things happen, but do we struggle to recognize and determine them as 'negative/bad'??
No, reader, we can spot 'bad' a mile away.
But what about 'goodness'? Why so much think-tanking on the pure and simple, sheer, unadulterated goodness of something?
Yahweh graces us with many things. He gives us love. He sent His son, Yahshua, to deliver us from sin and grant us eternal salvation. He sent us the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to be with us. He sends us prophets and teachers and a myriad of witnesses to prove and testify to the very REAL love that He has for us.
This love is, and has been REAL for thousands of years, yet mankind continues to consistently and arrogantly put Goliath (yes, I said Goliath) efforts into justifying and rationalizing why redemption and salvation is either unatainable, unavailabe, mythical, or obsolete.
Have you ever had an experience where your efforts either went unrecognized and/or someone else received the credit for it? Even the most humble of persons will at least recognize this when it occurs.
While this situation brings forth several emotional responses, the important connection and revelation should be this-what were the questions you asked yourself when it happened?
I can pretty much figure out what your emotions said (WTF??!!), but what did your MIND say? Probably something like 'how is it that this was perceived in this way', 'why and I letting this bother me', 'what do I do about this'.
Did the lack of recognition totally obliterate your hard work? Did it erase the 'you' that you poured into the effort itself? No way, Jose!
Even if NO ONE sees, hears, or validates your efforts, YOU know and, yes, they are REAL and they do have value!
There are so many credos, mantras, ideologies, and explanations that surround us.
Beginning from infancy, we were given, by God, gateways to learning and evolution. The keys to these gateways are the ability to speak, listen, read, retain, reason. How you use these keys will determine the areas you unlock and the journey you take. However, none of this matters unless you CONNECT with, and RECOGNIZE the value of these keys and become ACCOUNTABLE for them not only in your own life, but in the lives of others, and overall, in the world around you.
I see nothing weak, pagan, or unsophisticated about recognizing God's work each and every time I encounter it. Where I once would say 'Isnt that weird', or 'What a conicindence', I now say 'That aint nothin' BUT the Holy Spirit', because I know it. In my heart, in my mind, and in the core of my being. I know it; I just do.
If you don't see God's love, recognize it, accept it and give credit where credit is due, does that mean it doesn't exist.
Silly rabbit; tricks are for kids...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Moments of clarity...
I truly believe that there are 2 times of the day that Yahweh gifts to us for a very special time of reflection, meditation, and prayer. They are seemingly similar, but actually truly distinct.
Morning grace and Evening mercy.
Morning grace is that time when you are transitioned from sleep state and you are embracing the new day.
You are regenerated, refreshed from your slumber, and the day set before you is pure and pregnant with potential. Nothing has disturbed it, taken it hostage, or studded it with activities.
It is grace. A time to thank the Father for not only seeing us through the night and granting us rest, but also for giving us the miracle of a new day; a clean slate and creamy white canvas. All intentions are pure and sincere, and the possibilities are truly endless.
Evening mercy is the moment for decompressing; reflection and re-examination of the day you were gifted with. What did you do, how did you do it, was it what you wanted and if not, why not... It is the time when I dynamically connect with just how much Yahweh kept me, throughout the day.
If I failed to achieve the goals I set before me, and/or I did not conduct myself according to the standards that are hared coded within my being, I can go before Him with trust and humility and seek the forgiveness and love that only He gives unconditionally.
Though perhaps not as calming as the morning's grace, the mercy of this time is just as vital to me for prayer and inner-clarity. Like a spiritual and mental cleansing bath, fragrant with images and feelings from the day's encounters.
I commune with Yahweh in me, through me, and around me at both these precious periods of the day, and it is the full circle of self awareness that makes me know that NOTHING is accidental and insignificant in my life and in the world.
I love these times of morning grace and evening mercy. They are as vital to me as the air I breathe.
Thank you, Yahweh.
I am that; I am.
Morning grace and Evening mercy.
Morning grace is that time when you are transitioned from sleep state and you are embracing the new day.
You are regenerated, refreshed from your slumber, and the day set before you is pure and pregnant with potential. Nothing has disturbed it, taken it hostage, or studded it with activities.
It is grace. A time to thank the Father for not only seeing us through the night and granting us rest, but also for giving us the miracle of a new day; a clean slate and creamy white canvas. All intentions are pure and sincere, and the possibilities are truly endless.
Evening mercy is the moment for decompressing; reflection and re-examination of the day you were gifted with. What did you do, how did you do it, was it what you wanted and if not, why not... It is the time when I dynamically connect with just how much Yahweh kept me, throughout the day.
If I failed to achieve the goals I set before me, and/or I did not conduct myself according to the standards that are hared coded within my being, I can go before Him with trust and humility and seek the forgiveness and love that only He gives unconditionally.
Though perhaps not as calming as the morning's grace, the mercy of this time is just as vital to me for prayer and inner-clarity. Like a spiritual and mental cleansing bath, fragrant with images and feelings from the day's encounters.
I commune with Yahweh in me, through me, and around me at both these precious periods of the day, and it is the full circle of self awareness that makes me know that NOTHING is accidental and insignificant in my life and in the world.
I love these times of morning grace and evening mercy. They are as vital to me as the air I breathe.
Thank you, Yahweh.
I am that; I am.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Let the games begin !!!!!!
Dear Reader,
Well, here we are! Or here we are not. I am not sure where this journey will take me or how the travel will unfold, but I do know this: It is time!!!
2010 was a wild ride and while I am not going to dwell overmuch on the past, it is critical to do a review of what went down to truly appreciate how Yahweh brought me to and through such amazing situations and experiences.
2011 is the year for facing the precipice. For going forward even if it looks like hot drama. It is the time for action and not only talk. It is the year of beauty, commitment, and humility.
Endure, press through, keep on truckin'!!!
Scared; a little. Ready; more than I could possibly express.
So, lets put on the big girl panties and deal, and DO THIS!!!!
Welcome to my world; and make sure you buckle your seat belts (LOL)
Well, here we are! Or here we are not. I am not sure where this journey will take me or how the travel will unfold, but I do know this: It is time!!!
2010 was a wild ride and while I am not going to dwell overmuch on the past, it is critical to do a review of what went down to truly appreciate how Yahweh brought me to and through such amazing situations and experiences.
2011 is the year for facing the precipice. For going forward even if it looks like hot drama. It is the time for action and not only talk. It is the year of beauty, commitment, and humility.
Endure, press through, keep on truckin'!!!
Scared; a little. Ready; more than I could possibly express.
So, lets put on the big girl panties and deal, and DO THIS!!!!
Welcome to my world; and make sure you buckle your seat belts (LOL)
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