The older I get, the more the longing for my Mother intensifies. Currently, I have been going through some intense personal challenges and I need to see her, hear her, and feel her love for me, in a tangible way. But that is not possible.
She transitioned from a physical state many years ago. I do not say I lost her, because I would never be so careless as to misplace such a valuable treasure. I do not say she is dead, because there is no way someone whose influence and spirit is still so very vibrant could be considered 'dead'. However, the one point that is not debatable is how much I miss the one-on-one interaction and communion we once shared so effortlessly.
I miss her voice, her wry sense of humor. I miss her strength and faith in God, and in me. I miss her hands, so beautiful and elegant. But most of all, I miss her unconditional love; the love that only a good mother can give so freely from the the heart.
Don't get me cockeyed; we were not always bosom buddies. In fact, I fought her tooth and nail growing up. Note that I don't say 'WE' fought. My mother always made it perfectly clear that she was not even remotely interested in participating in my angst fueled rebellion; besides, she was always going to be the winner no matter what.
Her consistent response to my tirade du jour was 'you'll need me before I'll need you', which was based on the golden rule (he who has the gold, rules). And she was right. No sooner than I would declare her excommunicated from the church of Sheri, something would ALWAYS come up where I would need her. I would then slink back and fall on the sword of my stupidity and ingratitude, once again.
My Mother was a very intelligent and wise person. I 'kind of' knew it through my youth and I am 100% positive now that I am both an adult and a mother. She was an avid reader and devotee of all things that added intellectual and spiritual dimension to one's self. She was compassionate, yet firm. And she was the most responsible and tolerant person I will ever know.
Perhaps the most impressive of her gifts was her innate ability to 'know' people. I can remember her giving me insights and admonitions regarding the various people I would let into my life, and I almost never took her advice to heart. I figured she was so out of touch, what could she possible know??!! How foolishly I negated her years of living and experience mixed with her love and protective nature for me.
And as sure as the sun shines, the one's she said would hurt me, did. The one's she vehemently disliked, I sought out the most and paid dearly for it in the end. The ones she liked, I am still friends with to this day.
Some of the lessons she taught me I learned at her feet; some when I moved away, but could still share with her by phone or letter. Some did not manifest until she was gone, yet I still share the epiphany moment with her in a sacred exchange, spirit to spirit.
My greatest joy is that I was able to let her know how much I loved her and appreciated her while she was still in this realm. She saw that I had shed the temporal skin of youthful foolishness and took on the mantle of young womanhood. She met, approved, and loved my husband, and she left this earth knowing I was anchored in Christ, as well as being the strong, loving,and dynamic woman that she formed me to be.
My greatest sadness is that she never met my beautiful and miraculous baby girl, who is growing into such a fine person and whom I know she would have loved so intensely. I am also saddened that my daughter will never experience the privilege of sharing time and space with such a force of nature that was my mother.
However, the legacy that is my mother is as real as the words I am keying and you are reading. She is materialized in the image and inspiration that we are sharing through this forum. She is as real as the stories I tell my daughter about her. She is the voice that comes from my love, fear, and anger as I raise this girl-child. And most of all, she is the laugh in my ears when I hear her say to me 'I told you so', as I , myself, continue my journey from child to woman.
Oh, and did I fail to mention that I was adopted? This was an intentional positioning of this fact within this narrative, because that semantical point has always been a footnote in my life.
My mother, Etta Jean Taylor, was and will always be the true essence of what a mother is. Not based on biological mandate; but by the milk of kindness and the nurturing of the heart that designates motherhood in its purest form.
She set my feet firmly on the path of life, anchored in the confidence that I was armed with all I would ever need to succeed, and the critical understanding that this knowlege and power was IN ME, and never, ever in something or someone else.
She was my hero and my best friend and she was a true trip, trust me on that!
I pray that when it is my time to leave this physical life for my eternal one, that my daughter will remember me in the same way. I can rest in that, as well as with the faith that I will see my own mother again.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
These are a few of my favorite things...
Have you ever taken the time to simply focus on specific things that you like, and are grateful for?
Sometime when I have trouble sleeping, decompressing, or just want a 'warm-fuzzy' moment, I tend to mentally itemize things that have special meaning to me.
As a chronic list writer, I decided to document these thoughts for my daughter. I woke up in the wee hours of a morning, went in another room, turned on a soft light, and let my mind go. It was such a great opportunity to delve into my own self-awareness.
If you have never done this, I urge you to do so.
Not just in your mind, but releasing these positive thoughts, these things that make you happy, into your physical and personal space. Write them down and keep them somewhere where you can access them in times when positive thoughts are needed to soothe and inspire you.
Good things:
Yahweh, the Bible, prayer, my daughter and husband, babies hands and feet, shaved legs rubbing against high thread count sheets, live theater, favorite songs, Autumn, rain, the perfect lip balm, MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC, cards in the mail, BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS, cut grass, first day of school, first snows, NYC!!!, accomplishments, honesty, poetry, kisses, new car smell, shoes that fit perfectly, silver, Mont Blanc writing instruments, football, condiments, cook out food, seafood, comfort food, free food, home made baked goods, showers, massages, clean clothes, good moisturizer, lotion, nakedness, nail polish, toe rings, fresh fruit, cool air, summer nights, silk, vegetables, PIZZA, cats, puppies, ladybugs, reunions, encouragement, birthdays, shopping, laughter, memories, peppers, lemonade, cider, hot tea served from a tea pot, sangria, sandals, trust, friendship, epiphanies, pie, strength, cleanliness, hand made jewelry, humor, snuggling, nice hotels, socks, chocolate, isotoner gloves, private jokes, public abandon , neti pots, incense, hot sauce,old movies, hugs, solitude, plants, and tears.
Whew!
Once I was finished, it was almost as if in reading the list, I was able to step outside myself and look at me, from the outside looking in. What started out as brainstorming became release. What resulted from release was a patchwork quilt of my 'me-ness'; the me that I know and love. The best parts of me.
These thoughts make me feel happy every time I revisit them.
I could have filled a notebook with these thoughts, an pehaps that is just what I will do
Sometime when I have trouble sleeping, decompressing, or just want a 'warm-fuzzy' moment, I tend to mentally itemize things that have special meaning to me.
As a chronic list writer, I decided to document these thoughts for my daughter. I woke up in the wee hours of a morning, went in another room, turned on a soft light, and let my mind go. It was such a great opportunity to delve into my own self-awareness.
If you have never done this, I urge you to do so.
Not just in your mind, but releasing these positive thoughts, these things that make you happy, into your physical and personal space. Write them down and keep them somewhere where you can access them in times when positive thoughts are needed to soothe and inspire you.
Good things:
Yahweh, the Bible, prayer, my daughter and husband, babies hands and feet, shaved legs rubbing against high thread count sheets, live theater, favorite songs, Autumn, rain, the perfect lip balm, MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC, cards in the mail, BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS, cut grass, first day of school, first snows, NYC!!!, accomplishments, honesty, poetry, kisses, new car smell, shoes that fit perfectly, silver, Mont Blanc writing instruments, football, condiments, cook out food, seafood, comfort food, free food, home made baked goods, showers, massages, clean clothes, good moisturizer, lotion, nakedness, nail polish, toe rings, fresh fruit, cool air, summer nights, silk, vegetables, PIZZA, cats, puppies, ladybugs, reunions, encouragement, birthdays, shopping, laughter, memories, peppers, lemonade, cider, hot tea served from a tea pot, sangria, sandals, trust, friendship, epiphanies, pie, strength, cleanliness, hand made jewelry, humor, snuggling, nice hotels, socks, chocolate, isotoner gloves, private jokes, public abandon , neti pots, incense, hot sauce,old movies, hugs, solitude, plants, and tears.
Whew!
Once I was finished, it was almost as if in reading the list, I was able to step outside myself and look at me, from the outside looking in. What started out as brainstorming became release. What resulted from release was a patchwork quilt of my 'me-ness'; the me that I know and love. The best parts of me.
These thoughts make me feel happy every time I revisit them.
I could have filled a notebook with these thoughts, an pehaps that is just what I will do
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Roll over, Rover!
So, we face a new year! 2011!!
Fresh start (yayyyy!!!), new resolutions (groan..), Carpe Novum!!!
Well, I decided to test drive this new year and a week later, I have determined that I like it and will keep it.
'New' is always such a provocative word. It can be favorable, or negative. It can represent an exciting possibility, or an intimidating challenge. Just saying the word 'new' invokes a variety of emotions and connections.
There are so many sayings regarding new. One in particular that I hear a lot is 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks'.
The older I get, the less I agree.
As a young pup, I was of the impression that the older you got the more you were 'set in your ways'. The perception of adults was that they were unwilling or unable to 'do new' and appreciate newness unless they were forced into it, especially the older you got.
Grownups resented being pushed into uncharted territory, having their hard won comfort zones compromised. Only the young are brave, fearless, and seeking the next big rush. Old meant stuck or stale. Youth meant fresh and fluid.
Bull crap!
The whateverwhomever that put these preconceptions in my head was DEAD WRONG!
I first got the hint that there was a flaw to this theory when I took a water aerobics class, when my daughter was around 1 year old. I worked from home, was a first time mother, and still in a post partum fog, so I figured I would find something to get me in shape and out of the house.
I joined a morning water fitness class at the local YWCA. My first session had me entering the the pool area at an ungodly 6 am. Scattered around the water's surface was what appeared to be a lake filed with aging lily pads.
My REM-envied vision cleared slowly to reveal a myriad of brightly colored swim suites and little bobbing grey heads. The only one in the class that was under 70 was me, a 35 year old , lactating, hormonal mess, and the 50-something instructor. My first thought was 'so this is what I am reduced to? Working out with the grey panthers ??!!??' I wasn't sure if I should laugh, or cry.
During warm up it became clear very quickly that not only was I NOT going to be the star pupil in this class, but that I had GREATLY underestimated these ladies regarding their fitness, their exuberance, their everything.
That class became one of my favorite hours of the day, and I met the most amazing women who shared so much of themselves with each move, laugh, and story. These silver mermaids adopted me and taught me that not only is there still fire in the furnace when there is snow on the roof, but that age is truly irrelevant when you achieve and maintain youth in your heart and soul.
I have also learned, as my journey continues, that the older I get, the more critical it is for me to embrace the new.
New equals change, and each day/month/year we live, we face change and are renewed with every second, every hour, every breath and heart beat.
Whether you meet new with bravery, excitement, and anticipation, or with fear, doubt, and resentment, new will still happen.
So, really, its not age that affects how you do new, its your attitude and your heart. And that rule can be applied to everyone regardless of how old you are.
Everyday, we are all new again and new never gets old.
Will you?
Fresh start (yayyyy!!!), new resolutions (groan..), Carpe Novum!!!
Well, I decided to test drive this new year and a week later, I have determined that I like it and will keep it.
'New' is always such a provocative word. It can be favorable, or negative. It can represent an exciting possibility, or an intimidating challenge. Just saying the word 'new' invokes a variety of emotions and connections.
There are so many sayings regarding new. One in particular that I hear a lot is 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks'.
The older I get, the less I agree.
As a young pup, I was of the impression that the older you got the more you were 'set in your ways'. The perception of adults was that they were unwilling or unable to 'do new' and appreciate newness unless they were forced into it, especially the older you got.
Grownups resented being pushed into uncharted territory, having their hard won comfort zones compromised. Only the young are brave, fearless, and seeking the next big rush. Old meant stuck or stale. Youth meant fresh and fluid.
Bull crap!
The whateverwhomever that put these preconceptions in my head was DEAD WRONG!
I first got the hint that there was a flaw to this theory when I took a water aerobics class, when my daughter was around 1 year old. I worked from home, was a first time mother, and still in a post partum fog, so I figured I would find something to get me in shape and out of the house.
I joined a morning water fitness class at the local YWCA. My first session had me entering the the pool area at an ungodly 6 am. Scattered around the water's surface was what appeared to be a lake filed with aging lily pads.
My REM-envied vision cleared slowly to reveal a myriad of brightly colored swim suites and little bobbing grey heads. The only one in the class that was under 70 was me, a 35 year old , lactating, hormonal mess, and the 50-something instructor. My first thought was 'so this is what I am reduced to? Working out with the grey panthers ??!!??' I wasn't sure if I should laugh, or cry.
During warm up it became clear very quickly that not only was I NOT going to be the star pupil in this class, but that I had GREATLY underestimated these ladies regarding their fitness, their exuberance, their everything.
That class became one of my favorite hours of the day, and I met the most amazing women who shared so much of themselves with each move, laugh, and story. These silver mermaids adopted me and taught me that not only is there still fire in the furnace when there is snow on the roof, but that age is truly irrelevant when you achieve and maintain youth in your heart and soul.
I have also learned, as my journey continues, that the older I get, the more critical it is for me to embrace the new.
New equals change, and each day/month/year we live, we face change and are renewed with every second, every hour, every breath and heart beat.
Whether you meet new with bravery, excitement, and anticipation, or with fear, doubt, and resentment, new will still happen.
So, really, its not age that affects how you do new, its your attitude and your heart. And that rule can be applied to everyone regardless of how old you are.
Everyday, we are all new again and new never gets old.
Will you?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Pin the heart on the donkey...
You are blindfolded, the game is on the line. Everyone else sees what you are depending on instinct to find.
You get turned in circles just to make it a bit more interesting. Walking, stumbling blindly toward your target with your heart in your hand, seeking to make the connection.
Take your shot, affix your heart! Take off the blindfold and look with your natural sight. Did you hit the mark exactly, probably not. But even if your heart is ANYWHERE within the vicinity of your target, even on the edge of the edge, its ok. Right??? Did I win???
When I graduated High School, the song chosen for us to sing at our commencement was 'In My Life' by the Beatles. Though I liked the Beatles' music, that was not a song I really knew or even understood. I would have chosen something more like " Its So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday", from the movie 'Cooley High'. I was looking at the finality of my youth and the collection of memories and hijinks that seemed to be over, versus anticipating the next steps that would take me towards the promise of the future that lay before me.
But since I was more concerned with the graduation party schedules than protesting the choice of the graduation song, I conceded, learned the words, and obediently sang it at the appointed time.
Lately I find myself in a very nostalgic mood, thanks to Face Book reconnection's, deaths of iconic figures, holidays, and simply growing older.
I recently heard 'In My Life' on the radio and the light bulb went off!! OMG, I get it!!! Its about the connections! The people we encounter, the loves we make, keep, and even the ones we lose. Its about looking at the big picture and appreciating every part of it, good, bad, and ugly.
It got me thinking about love. In all the forms and flavors that I have experienced in my short, but long life.
Obviously, there are the loves that were easy to define; the love of family, friends, objects, places.
But the love that 'got me' was the short step that I never saw, the ones I always tripped and skinned my knees upon; the 'condition of the heart' loves. The crushes, infatuations, undying devotion, and gut-wrenching loves. The ones I lived for. The ones I died for.
I don't think it is ever right to tell a young person that they are in 'puppy love' or that 'young love is not real love', or that 'crushes don't count'.
I remember being told these things when I was in the midst of some life-altering and emotional chapter of my youth, and it confused me to no end.
I was FEELING and EXPERIENCING something powerful here, folks!!! Just because I was 10 should not make it any less REAL!!! And if what I was feeling was not the real thing, then God help me, how will I ever be able to withstand the intensity of love when it is 'REAL', when the puppy-love-lite version is kicking my tender, naive little butt!!!
From Elementary School, through High School, through my early adult years, and even now, I have learned that ALL loves, no matter how they started, how long they burned, or how they ended, were not only VERY REAL, but they were all VERY NECESSARY.
Every sigh, every hope, every embrace, every missed call and mistake, every kiss, and tear, was proof that I am ALIVE! I may not win, but dammit, I am in the game!!!
I became textures and colors that I didn't have before, as a result of each love. Some loves made my jagged edges smooth. Some rendered me with shards of pain and brittle memories that exist to this day. Reds of passion, cool lapis lazuli tinted times of calmness and content. Dazzling blue-white flashes of clarity, and even the purple-black, heavy velvet curtains of despair and self doubt. I became a more beautiful and intricate creation with each heart beat and heart break.
Now, as I watch my daughter grow, I know that I will have to be there for her for what is coming. She will break hearts, and have hers broken. She will dance around the house as if she is suspended weightless in air. She will hurt as if there is nothing bigger or more profound that the pain in her heart. However, I hope that I do and say the right things to let her know it is all worth it, and that she has the strength to keep going and not let any one love keep her from an entire life of love/loves/loving. I straddle the fence foolishly wishing I could spare her any hurt, and knowing that a life without love is a life less lived. So, I pray for her and myself, and little by little release her to life and the love lessons that will be.
Like me, all the loves of my life are real and relevant in all their forms and phases.
The past ones, the present ones, and the future ones. The beautiful ones, the foolish ones, the ones I planned, manipulated, and contrived, and the ones that came from left field, or out of nowhere and knocked me senseless.
In my life, I've loved them all...
You get turned in circles just to make it a bit more interesting. Walking, stumbling blindly toward your target with your heart in your hand, seeking to make the connection.
Take your shot, affix your heart! Take off the blindfold and look with your natural sight. Did you hit the mark exactly, probably not. But even if your heart is ANYWHERE within the vicinity of your target, even on the edge of the edge, its ok. Right??? Did I win???
When I graduated High School, the song chosen for us to sing at our commencement was 'In My Life' by the Beatles. Though I liked the Beatles' music, that was not a song I really knew or even understood. I would have chosen something more like " Its So Hard To Say Goodbye to Yesterday", from the movie 'Cooley High'. I was looking at the finality of my youth and the collection of memories and hijinks that seemed to be over, versus anticipating the next steps that would take me towards the promise of the future that lay before me.
But since I was more concerned with the graduation party schedules than protesting the choice of the graduation song, I conceded, learned the words, and obediently sang it at the appointed time.
Lately I find myself in a very nostalgic mood, thanks to Face Book reconnection's, deaths of iconic figures, holidays, and simply growing older.
I recently heard 'In My Life' on the radio and the light bulb went off!! OMG, I get it!!! Its about the connections! The people we encounter, the loves we make, keep, and even the ones we lose. Its about looking at the big picture and appreciating every part of it, good, bad, and ugly.
It got me thinking about love. In all the forms and flavors that I have experienced in my short, but long life.
Obviously, there are the loves that were easy to define; the love of family, friends, objects, places.
But the love that 'got me' was the short step that I never saw, the ones I always tripped and skinned my knees upon; the 'condition of the heart' loves. The crushes, infatuations, undying devotion, and gut-wrenching loves. The ones I lived for. The ones I died for.
I don't think it is ever right to tell a young person that they are in 'puppy love' or that 'young love is not real love', or that 'crushes don't count'.
I remember being told these things when I was in the midst of some life-altering and emotional chapter of my youth, and it confused me to no end.
I was FEELING and EXPERIENCING something powerful here, folks!!! Just because I was 10 should not make it any less REAL!!! And if what I was feeling was not the real thing, then God help me, how will I ever be able to withstand the intensity of love when it is 'REAL', when the puppy-love-lite version is kicking my tender, naive little butt!!!
From Elementary School, through High School, through my early adult years, and even now, I have learned that ALL loves, no matter how they started, how long they burned, or how they ended, were not only VERY REAL, but they were all VERY NECESSARY.
Every sigh, every hope, every embrace, every missed call and mistake, every kiss, and tear, was proof that I am ALIVE! I may not win, but dammit, I am in the game!!!
I became textures and colors that I didn't have before, as a result of each love. Some loves made my jagged edges smooth. Some rendered me with shards of pain and brittle memories that exist to this day. Reds of passion, cool lapis lazuli tinted times of calmness and content. Dazzling blue-white flashes of clarity, and even the purple-black, heavy velvet curtains of despair and self doubt. I became a more beautiful and intricate creation with each heart beat and heart break.
Now, as I watch my daughter grow, I know that I will have to be there for her for what is coming. She will break hearts, and have hers broken. She will dance around the house as if she is suspended weightless in air. She will hurt as if there is nothing bigger or more profound that the pain in her heart. However, I hope that I do and say the right things to let her know it is all worth it, and that she has the strength to keep going and not let any one love keep her from an entire life of love/loves/loving. I straddle the fence foolishly wishing I could spare her any hurt, and knowing that a life without love is a life less lived. So, I pray for her and myself, and little by little release her to life and the love lessons that will be.
Like me, all the loves of my life are real and relevant in all their forms and phases.
The past ones, the present ones, and the future ones. The beautiful ones, the foolish ones, the ones I planned, manipulated, and contrived, and the ones that came from left field, or out of nowhere and knocked me senseless.
In my life, I've loved them all...
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Ain't Nothing But the Holy Spirit!!!
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there, does it make a sound?
Ever since I was a child this question has always interested me.
Not because I couldn't figure it out; but because it seemed to be the most arrogant and shallow thing I had ever heard.
Why would we assume that nature, and everything else in the world, is only REAL if we can see it, hear it, categorize and classify it??? Who are we to assume that Yahweh requires us to validate natural occurrences for them to have 'realness'.
While I love the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, it always made sense to me that while important, it was never the LOVE the child had for the rabbit toy that made it real, it was the FAITH and REVELATION of the LOVE that did it. Same as with the 'Toy Story' movies. Can we really value something/someone without really thinking about it, kind of like being on emotional and mental 'auto-pilot'? I think so-its called 'taking for granted'. Does that love stop or stay on hold until we 'buy the vowel', as on a game show?
Miracles and blessings happen ALL the time, ALL around us. But do you SEE them? Do you RECOGNIZE them? DO you ACCEPT and BELIEVE in them? Or do you simply think that you had to 'be there' (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically) to validate them, or that they 'just happened', or worse, do you totally discount that miracles even exist?
We see, hear, and read about 'bad things' all the time and it is rare that we question THAT they occur. We ask 'why' or 'how' could these things happen, but do we struggle to recognize and determine them as 'negative/bad'??
No, reader, we can spot 'bad' a mile away.
But what about 'goodness'? Why so much think-tanking on the pure and simple, sheer, unadulterated goodness of something?
Yahweh graces us with many things. He gives us love. He sent His son, Yahshua, to deliver us from sin and grant us eternal salvation. He sent us the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to be with us. He sends us prophets and teachers and a myriad of witnesses to prove and testify to the very REAL love that He has for us.
This love is, and has been REAL for thousands of years, yet mankind continues to consistently and arrogantly put Goliath (yes, I said Goliath) efforts into justifying and rationalizing why redemption and salvation is either unatainable, unavailabe, mythical, or obsolete.
Have you ever had an experience where your efforts either went unrecognized and/or someone else received the credit for it? Even the most humble of persons will at least recognize this when it occurs.
While this situation brings forth several emotional responses, the important connection and revelation should be this-what were the questions you asked yourself when it happened?
I can pretty much figure out what your emotions said (WTF??!!), but what did your MIND say? Probably something like 'how is it that this was perceived in this way', 'why and I letting this bother me', 'what do I do about this'.
Did the lack of recognition totally obliterate your hard work? Did it erase the 'you' that you poured into the effort itself? No way, Jose!
Even if NO ONE sees, hears, or validates your efforts, YOU know and, yes, they are REAL and they do have value!
There are so many credos, mantras, ideologies, and explanations that surround us.
Beginning from infancy, we were given, by God, gateways to learning and evolution. The keys to these gateways are the ability to speak, listen, read, retain, reason. How you use these keys will determine the areas you unlock and the journey you take. However, none of this matters unless you CONNECT with, and RECOGNIZE the value of these keys and become ACCOUNTABLE for them not only in your own life, but in the lives of others, and overall, in the world around you.
I see nothing weak, pagan, or unsophisticated about recognizing God's work each and every time I encounter it. Where I once would say 'Isnt that weird', or 'What a conicindence', I now say 'That aint nothin' BUT the Holy Spirit', because I know it. In my heart, in my mind, and in the core of my being. I know it; I just do.
If you don't see God's love, recognize it, accept it and give credit where credit is due, does that mean it doesn't exist.
Silly rabbit; tricks are for kids...
Ever since I was a child this question has always interested me.
Not because I couldn't figure it out; but because it seemed to be the most arrogant and shallow thing I had ever heard.
Why would we assume that nature, and everything else in the world, is only REAL if we can see it, hear it, categorize and classify it??? Who are we to assume that Yahweh requires us to validate natural occurrences for them to have 'realness'.
While I love the story of the Velveteen Rabbit, it always made sense to me that while important, it was never the LOVE the child had for the rabbit toy that made it real, it was the FAITH and REVELATION of the LOVE that did it. Same as with the 'Toy Story' movies. Can we really value something/someone without really thinking about it, kind of like being on emotional and mental 'auto-pilot'? I think so-its called 'taking for granted'. Does that love stop or stay on hold until we 'buy the vowel', as on a game show?
Miracles and blessings happen ALL the time, ALL around us. But do you SEE them? Do you RECOGNIZE them? DO you ACCEPT and BELIEVE in them? Or do you simply think that you had to 'be there' (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically) to validate them, or that they 'just happened', or worse, do you totally discount that miracles even exist?
We see, hear, and read about 'bad things' all the time and it is rare that we question THAT they occur. We ask 'why' or 'how' could these things happen, but do we struggle to recognize and determine them as 'negative/bad'??
No, reader, we can spot 'bad' a mile away.
But what about 'goodness'? Why so much think-tanking on the pure and simple, sheer, unadulterated goodness of something?
Yahweh graces us with many things. He gives us love. He sent His son, Yahshua, to deliver us from sin and grant us eternal salvation. He sent us the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to be with us. He sends us prophets and teachers and a myriad of witnesses to prove and testify to the very REAL love that He has for us.
This love is, and has been REAL for thousands of years, yet mankind continues to consistently and arrogantly put Goliath (yes, I said Goliath) efforts into justifying and rationalizing why redemption and salvation is either unatainable, unavailabe, mythical, or obsolete.
Have you ever had an experience where your efforts either went unrecognized and/or someone else received the credit for it? Even the most humble of persons will at least recognize this when it occurs.
While this situation brings forth several emotional responses, the important connection and revelation should be this-what were the questions you asked yourself when it happened?
I can pretty much figure out what your emotions said (WTF??!!), but what did your MIND say? Probably something like 'how is it that this was perceived in this way', 'why and I letting this bother me', 'what do I do about this'.
Did the lack of recognition totally obliterate your hard work? Did it erase the 'you' that you poured into the effort itself? No way, Jose!
Even if NO ONE sees, hears, or validates your efforts, YOU know and, yes, they are REAL and they do have value!
There are so many credos, mantras, ideologies, and explanations that surround us.
Beginning from infancy, we were given, by God, gateways to learning and evolution. The keys to these gateways are the ability to speak, listen, read, retain, reason. How you use these keys will determine the areas you unlock and the journey you take. However, none of this matters unless you CONNECT with, and RECOGNIZE the value of these keys and become ACCOUNTABLE for them not only in your own life, but in the lives of others, and overall, in the world around you.
I see nothing weak, pagan, or unsophisticated about recognizing God's work each and every time I encounter it. Where I once would say 'Isnt that weird', or 'What a conicindence', I now say 'That aint nothin' BUT the Holy Spirit', because I know it. In my heart, in my mind, and in the core of my being. I know it; I just do.
If you don't see God's love, recognize it, accept it and give credit where credit is due, does that mean it doesn't exist.
Silly rabbit; tricks are for kids...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Moments of clarity...
I truly believe that there are 2 times of the day that Yahweh gifts to us for a very special time of reflection, meditation, and prayer. They are seemingly similar, but actually truly distinct.
Morning grace and Evening mercy.
Morning grace is that time when you are transitioned from sleep state and you are embracing the new day.
You are regenerated, refreshed from your slumber, and the day set before you is pure and pregnant with potential. Nothing has disturbed it, taken it hostage, or studded it with activities.
It is grace. A time to thank the Father for not only seeing us through the night and granting us rest, but also for giving us the miracle of a new day; a clean slate and creamy white canvas. All intentions are pure and sincere, and the possibilities are truly endless.
Evening mercy is the moment for decompressing; reflection and re-examination of the day you were gifted with. What did you do, how did you do it, was it what you wanted and if not, why not... It is the time when I dynamically connect with just how much Yahweh kept me, throughout the day.
If I failed to achieve the goals I set before me, and/or I did not conduct myself according to the standards that are hared coded within my being, I can go before Him with trust and humility and seek the forgiveness and love that only He gives unconditionally.
Though perhaps not as calming as the morning's grace, the mercy of this time is just as vital to me for prayer and inner-clarity. Like a spiritual and mental cleansing bath, fragrant with images and feelings from the day's encounters.
I commune with Yahweh in me, through me, and around me at both these precious periods of the day, and it is the full circle of self awareness that makes me know that NOTHING is accidental and insignificant in my life and in the world.
I love these times of morning grace and evening mercy. They are as vital to me as the air I breathe.
Thank you, Yahweh.
I am that; I am.
Morning grace and Evening mercy.
Morning grace is that time when you are transitioned from sleep state and you are embracing the new day.
You are regenerated, refreshed from your slumber, and the day set before you is pure and pregnant with potential. Nothing has disturbed it, taken it hostage, or studded it with activities.
It is grace. A time to thank the Father for not only seeing us through the night and granting us rest, but also for giving us the miracle of a new day; a clean slate and creamy white canvas. All intentions are pure and sincere, and the possibilities are truly endless.
Evening mercy is the moment for decompressing; reflection and re-examination of the day you were gifted with. What did you do, how did you do it, was it what you wanted and if not, why not... It is the time when I dynamically connect with just how much Yahweh kept me, throughout the day.
If I failed to achieve the goals I set before me, and/or I did not conduct myself according to the standards that are hared coded within my being, I can go before Him with trust and humility and seek the forgiveness and love that only He gives unconditionally.
Though perhaps not as calming as the morning's grace, the mercy of this time is just as vital to me for prayer and inner-clarity. Like a spiritual and mental cleansing bath, fragrant with images and feelings from the day's encounters.
I commune with Yahweh in me, through me, and around me at both these precious periods of the day, and it is the full circle of self awareness that makes me know that NOTHING is accidental and insignificant in my life and in the world.
I love these times of morning grace and evening mercy. They are as vital to me as the air I breathe.
Thank you, Yahweh.
I am that; I am.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Let the games begin !!!!!!
Dear Reader,
Well, here we are! Or here we are not. I am not sure where this journey will take me or how the travel will unfold, but I do know this: It is time!!!
2010 was a wild ride and while I am not going to dwell overmuch on the past, it is critical to do a review of what went down to truly appreciate how Yahweh brought me to and through such amazing situations and experiences.
2011 is the year for facing the precipice. For going forward even if it looks like hot drama. It is the time for action and not only talk. It is the year of beauty, commitment, and humility.
Endure, press through, keep on truckin'!!!
Scared; a little. Ready; more than I could possibly express.
So, lets put on the big girl panties and deal, and DO THIS!!!!
Welcome to my world; and make sure you buckle your seat belts (LOL)
Well, here we are! Or here we are not. I am not sure where this journey will take me or how the travel will unfold, but I do know this: It is time!!!
2010 was a wild ride and while I am not going to dwell overmuch on the past, it is critical to do a review of what went down to truly appreciate how Yahweh brought me to and through such amazing situations and experiences.
2011 is the year for facing the precipice. For going forward even if it looks like hot drama. It is the time for action and not only talk. It is the year of beauty, commitment, and humility.
Endure, press through, keep on truckin'!!!
Scared; a little. Ready; more than I could possibly express.
So, lets put on the big girl panties and deal, and DO THIS!!!!
Welcome to my world; and make sure you buckle your seat belts (LOL)
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